Landon and I were married when we were sophomores at Brigham Young University. By all worldly standards, we should have waited to have children, but we felt that we shouldn’t delay. How grateful I am for that prompting.
Time went by, but the children didn’t come. We went to a doctor who ran some tests and said there was nothing wrong. He said we were one of the very few who had “unexplained infertility.” We were young and healthy, but we weren’t able to have children. We did an infertility procedure called IUI but never had success. It was a very painful time. We longed to have children and were heartbroken that they didn’t come.
We spent a lot of time fasting, praying, and in the temple. Over time, it became clear that the reason this wasn’t working was that our child was supposed to come another way - through adoption. At our last appointment, the doctor said we had two options - in vitro and adoption. We had known the answer long before. We excitedly left the appointment and called the adoption agency the next day - eager for our child to be born.
We quickly did the paperwork and were chosen just six weeks later. We were overjoyed. We planned, decorated, and dreamed. Then a few weeks before our baby was due, he was born a stillborn. I had never known that kind of sadness. I felt this deep dark pressure on my chest all the time. I felt broken.
We continued our efforts. I received a Priesthood Blessing that said that God was working to bring our child to us. We worked as hard as we could. That fall we said a prayer. We said that we had done all we could do, and we asked God to do the rest. That week we heard from Taylor’s birth mother. Nine months from the time of that blessing, Taylor Grace was born. We had never known such joy, and I believe we could only fully appreciate the miracle of her birth because of the pain we had experienced. Our beautiful, energetic girl is now 6, and we are forever grateful.
Of course, we wanted more children and started the adoption process for the second time. We were again chosen a few weeks after our approval. We raced to Utah to meet our little boy. He was premature but doing well. Then he got a stomach infection. He spent time in surgery at Primary Children’s Hospital, and then he passed away. It was surreal. We felt numb. How could we lose another baby?
A few months later, we got a call from a birth mother in Georgia. She chose us, and we flew out to adopt him, but she changed her mind and chose to parent. We flew home devastated.
We have received countless Priesthood Blessings over the years saying we would have children. We longed to have more, and we fasted and prayed to ask God to help us. We believed God would fulfill His promises, but we didn’t know how to help make it happen.
Two years ago the Spirit whispered, ”What about another doctor? What about a new clinic?” We did some research and started working with a fantastic clinic shortly after. We did two rounds of Clomid and two more rounds of IUI. None of them were successful, but we weren’t deterred. This time we knew we were supposed to do in vitro.
We started in vitro in December of 2017. It’s a four-month process. They start by pumping your body full of shots and medications to help your eggs grow. They monitor you about every other day with blood tests and vaginal ultrasounds to make sure everything is working as it should. Once you have lots of large eggs, they perform the egg retrieval. They put you under anesthesia and remove the eggs. When I woke up, they told us that they had retrieved five eggs. While they were inside, they saw that I had a lot of endometriosis which is most likely the cause of our infertility. We knew of several people who got 20 eggs but only five or so would survive. We had expected to get 21-24 eggs that day, so we were very worried that none of them would make it.
The doctors took the eggs and fertilized them with Landon’s sperm. We prayed fervently that they would fertilize. Miraculously, all five fertilized! We were thrilled! We then waited a few days for them to grow in the incubator. Thankfully, four made it! We were so grateful!
After that, they gave me medication to calm my hormones back down. Once my levels were back to normal, they pumped me up with more medication to prepare my body for pregnancy. The regimen of daily shots, medications, and tests led up to transfer day.
The next morning I was given valium as they placed the two embryos. It usually takes ten minutes. My body is full of endometriosis and has U-shaped areas that are supposed to be straight, so it took 50 minutes. I prayed for the doctor’s success, and he was able to get it done! Thank heavens for prayer and good doctors.
I was on bed rest for the next two days. After that, I was told I couldn’t exercise, get my heart rate up, or lift over ten pounds until the pregnancy test.
At-home pregnancy tests aren’t accurate with IVF, so on Friday morning at 8 am we went in for the blood draw. Taylor and I spent the morning at my parent’s house hanging out in an effort to distract us from waiting. We came home at noon and expected a call between 3 and 6. At 1:00, the nurse called and gave us the incredible news: WE WERE PREGNANT! I sobbed and thanked God for our incredible miracle. We were so happy and grateful and amazed.
Telling Taylor was pure joy. I’ve imagined that moment so many times. We went outside on the trampoline to tell her. Her eyes lit up, and her jaw dropped. She asked, “Are you serious? Do you pinky promise?” Then she said, “I’m a big sister!” She gave us hugs and has been so sweet. She keeps hugging my tummy and saying that she’ll share her old crib and high chair. I’ve dreamed of her being a big sister for so long. I’m so excited it’s finally time! We went to McDonald’s to get ice cream and celebrate as a family. Then Taylor went to play at my parent’s while Landon and I went to dinner and went baby shopping! It was amazing!
My pregnancy was very standard. I was sick in the first trimester, tired in the second, and large in the third. I went in for my weekly appointment on November 26, and my blood pressure was really high. They ran some tests to see if I had preeclampsia. The next morning at 7:30, I got a call saying I had preeclampsia and needed to get to the doctor ASAP. They were going to start the induction process that day.
I spent the rest of the day laboring in bed at home. It worked because when we checked in the hospital the next day, I was dilated at a 6! They gave me Pitocin and an epidural, and by evening, I was at a 10, and it was time to push!
I heard her sweet cry and asked, “Is she here? Is she okay?” The doctor assured me she was great, and he placed her on my chest. It was an absolutely glorious experience. I was even able to ignore the stitches he was putting in, because I was finally holding Lexi.
The next day Landon and I were holding Lexi. We were so incredibly happy. The word that kept coming to mind to describe how we felt was joy. Before we had delivered, Landon gave me a blessing. In it, it said, that first there would be a struggle and then there would be great joy. We had planned to name our baby Lexi Hannah after the mother of Samuel in the Bible. As we sat there feeling incredible joy, I asked Landon what he thought about naming her Lexi Joy. He liked it immediately, and within minutes, we made it official.
On Friday, we were packed and ready to go when things got difficult. Lexi hadn’t had a bowel movement, so they took her to the NICU for testing. Then, on my last test, my blood pressure was through the roof. Unfortunately, it was high enough that they were worried I would have a seizure or stroke. I ended up staying two more days in recovery while they tried meds to get my pressure under control.
They ran tests on Lexi in the NICU and discovered she has Hirschsprung Disease. They got her into surgery quickly. It was a difficult, 5-hour surgery, but it was successful! Soon after, she was having bowel movements and able to take breast milk again.
After two weeks in the NICU, Lexi was released! It was a marvelous day to take our baby home for the first time and get into a routine as a family of four! Landon has had time off with paternity leave and Christmas break, and my parents have helped out a ton.
Lexi is a sweetheart and loves to snuggle. She’s healthy and gaining weight. I look at her and thank God for the many miracles He performed in bringing her to our family. Children are a gift, and newborns are just a taste of heaven. We are forever grateful.
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